The Million Dollar Baby

I really only get one question, so here goes:

Q: Are you for real?

A: No, asshat. I'm not for real. This is clearly a bad photoshop job on a picture of a perfectly happy and ink-free baby, and I have no intention of selling tattoos on my daughter. We are all dumber for having listened to you. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Q: Why do you have this site, then?

A: It's a marketing stunt, dummy! I won't sell ads on my baby, but I will sell ads on this site. Contact me if you're interested.